You just gotta love yourself before you loved me.

We had an argue few years ago. It happen all the time muahahah. It was our way to talk and understanding. LOL. But this time, i speak something really hurts i guess. Im evil.


When I'm mad, i don't fucking care and think. I'll just spilt all my words out without using my brain. Then bing bang boom on my Bubu heart. Shit!


He was out and that time i got tons of indescribable stress at my back. I get emo again i don't let him out for certain reasons. And also, i had unlimited imagination growing in my mind and i think too much. I get piss, sad, emo and no where to deal with but him. Pity~



He tried to be good with me after he reached club, he tried to let me cool down and still informing me his current status(in where, do what, blah...), but still I'm mad at that time. When he call me after an hour later, i blame again. Complaining shits that is not exist. We hang and we done without a bye.


That night, i guess he drank a lot. Damn~gastric happen to him. This is no longer a joke. Doctor say that gonna turn to gastric perforation soon if he still continue so. OMFG~i damn worried when he told me, but i act cool don't even give a damn. I'm so sorry. I'm wrong. Never liked to say sorry but this...i had too. Why must you drink like hell when you're mad? Can't you just be cool and treat it was a joke. Okay, its hard i know. My fault.


When he's home, its the middle of the night, i still barely remember he was talking with me but at the same time he was vomiting too. I used to be blur when he wake me from bed but not this time. Normally he will hang up and call back after done vomit ting but this time, i guess he's afraid that i will not pick up. I heard he was vomiting and i don't care about it. Ego me ruins thing easily.


We talk and talk, things getting real worse because he was drunk and started to lost his behaviour, i get mad and end up we both F here F there. LOL
At last i say something that i really damn regretted, he ask me to say it once again and i was like FINE, I'll let you hear clearly and i repeat the sentence. Its totally wrong when i lost my mind. Its a secret but i will keep it a lesson..forever. Finger crossed, not repeating it again. =)


BHD...no one gonna love you more than yourself, do you know that? If you don't even know how to love your own, how can you love me without any obstacles? Perhaps a better health? I don't wanna see you walk away first, I'm selfish and i know you know. You promised!!! (OMG, here i go thinking too far again)


Btw, i never tell you so...that...i was...actually waiting your call after i repeat the sentence. I was... waiting you to wake me up as you promised but i guess you were tired, i was... waiting you to wake up and message me so that i could work with no worries.

Last, I'm glad that you had that patience. I'm touch when you call.

Love you, from me.