I've missed a lot

I dint noticed I've missed a lot until i flipped through friends blog and Facebook album.


Like I'm standing so far away from them.



I saw they went gathering together, they went night market together, they had McDee together, they celebrate birthday together...everything TOGETHER!



What happen to me? Why am i not there? Why they did not ask me along? I keep on thinking about it with a sour feel inside my heart. Last, i scroll my phone message inbox. Its not that they dint ask me along but i was busy with job, busy with others stuff and college. Owh god~ hate myself right now.



Some they did inform me earlier like few months ago but at the end. I did the same thing again. I FFK last minute. Some of my job are last minute, i can't control when they came but I'm sure that i can control whether i should take it or not. I dint and that's why i hate myself right now for being left behind.



Since primary school till high school and now college, i don't know why...i don't really like to simply mix around with peoples. I guess i had some disease. LOL. I've been kinda picky on my friend. I mean close friend. That's why gang i always mix around are not more then 5? People who can really talk with me, i mean dig my heart out...not much. I guess i seal my self off seriously. I've found that people could really fake!!! Real fake!!! Now they could smile to you and even treat you nice drink and help you to do your stuff (willingly), then in few seconds later...whoohoo! They will said that you force them to do so. WTH! I thought it was a help from TRUE FRIEND? It is not as i found out later, it was just a way to create something out from me. Fuck to all the bicthes that do so before. Glad that you all still survive =) Should really take care yourself carefully. Im not really a person with strong religion view but i always believe that what we do, what we get back. KARMA. Heard?



Opps, I've drag too far. Where am i now? XD



High school is the greatest moment in my life i guess. Everyone is sticking together. We can easily date each other for lunch or movie...not even using a single penny for sending sms or electricity fee and Internet cost for using Facebook. We just hop in to the class when recess and done. Movie always happen when we had class dismiss earlier, we will wear our uniform for outing. Attentions we get and we feel awkward but with the badge of CHONG HWA INDEPENDENT HIGH SCHOOL. We feel only proud. Agree buddies? (What am i saying??)

Unlike now, a lunch date could be drag for a month time. Cancel, re-book...kept recycle. Damn! Even a movie outing is more hard! Phew~

Everyone is busy with their stuff. Whoever who don't continue their studies will busy for working, people who in college. What else? Just like you and me, forever undone assignment and coursework. Exhausted.


I've missed a lot and I miss you peeps!!!